The brain has serious self-esteem issues; it can help with pain, intelligence, creativity, anxiety, depression, general well-being, but only if it believes in itself–which it doesn’t.
My God. Ain’t that the truth.
I wish I was normal
They might not have debtors Jail anymore, but if you can’t afford to file your taxes, they can and will fine you. If you can’t afford to pay those back taxes they can come after you and arrest you for tax fraud.
If you dont turn in your only means of transportation when you get behind on the payments, they can arrest you for theft of property.
If you can’t afford to file bankruptcy you can and will be harassed at your work place by bill collectors until you are fired for violating company policy. If you don’t have a job, you can’t pay your bills. And if they can’t get money back from you, they can and will put you in file charges on you.
You can’t commit suicide because they will go after your family. You might be dead but your debts never die until they’re paid in full with interest. There really is no way to win. It’s meaningless. Pointless. All you can do is pray that you live long enough to pay it all off so your family doesn’t have to carry your burden.
Last December, the FCC voted to to kill net neutrality. If we do not take action, this will kill the free and open internet as we know it. The internet needs you—all of you—to make sure your voices are heard NOW.
We need all hands on deck for this one. It may be our last chance. If you’re feeling under-informed and overwhelmed about why net neutrality is so incredibly important, we have this handy guide just for you.
This is important. This matters. It’s up to you to help.
Last year, on her very last Mother’s Day, she spent the day with my children while I slept through the whole thing. I didn’t see her, or my kids. I was working 2 jobs and I stayed over finishing the Mother’s Day meal for the residents, in case their mom’s stopped in to see them. They’re institutionalized; I liked to do little things extra on Sundays anyhow, just to show my love for them. I didn’t get home until after 10am, putting in 15 hours after working both jobs the night before.
If I could take it all back I would have cooked my mom the special meal and watched her damn scifi or horrible happy hallmark crap. I would give anything for a Mother’s Day do over. I’ve cried more this week than any since it happened.
I prayed a couple nights ago if I could dream of her, if she would come and see me. And she did! And in my dream I actually felt her touch and her sweet mothers gaze landing on her brat child. She loved me so much. But I’m heartbroken because I wanted to talk with her and all I did was acknowledge her presence and continue doing whatever I was doing before she showed up in my dream. I woke up crying because I didn’t get to tell her that I miss her and that I’m sorry.
I’m either 1)ungrateful for answered prayers, or 2)I’m finally cracking up. Or 3) a self centered narcissistic combination of 1&2. After months of playing Dr. Google, I’m leaning heavily on 3 being the correct guess.I can’t believe someone so hateful and ignorant of their own toxicity could come from a woman who was the polar opposite.
In closing, I just wanted to say to my mom, a woman who literally couldn’t care less about the internet, social media or politics but paid for the wifi for my dad ( lol) that I love her. She will never know about my venting on here; even if her spirit does check in with me, she hated technology!
Mother. My God it hurts so much. I love you and I never knew what really missing someone was until you left. I’m so sorry for being so bitter and angry. I’m so sorry. I would give my right eye to have you introduce me once more as your baby girl. I wouldn’t roll my eyes and I don’t care that I’m almost 40 with a half grown baby girl of my own. It was a great privilege to still be your baby girl. Nobody will ever love me like you.
You’re right. I don’t listen to what comes out of my mouth and I don’t hear my own thoughts. I’m glad you corrected me before I made you mad. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. You’re right. I’m selfish and self centered. I always have to leave you with an insult. You’re right, dad’s right, brother is right. I don’t make sense. Sorry
I started listening to different podcasts this past week, hoping to gain some useful advice on how to become a better person and not need so many verbal corrections from my husband, dad and brother. Now I know why they’re always being so blunt with me, and why I’m always crying and thinking the worst about myself. I’m a narcissist and a codependent who is emotionally immature.
After a relatively quiet week at work, I decided to get up this morning and learn how to use a lawnmower and cut our grass. I can’t believe I have gone almost 40 years without knowing how much fun it is! After spending months of being ashamed of the yard and waiting for my husband to get to it, I went on YouTube , watched the guy start his mower and repeated what he did. I was smiling and really enjoying myself. The neighbor with the zero turn rode over to offer his help. I happily told him that I was really having fun and thanked him for the offer but I can do this. About 5 minutes after he drove off, my husband came outside screaming at me. “You don’t know what you’re doing! You’ll fuck it up! There’s plenty of housework in here what the fuck is wrong with you! Get your ass inside and clean the floors or something!” He’s right. I shouldn’t embarrass him like that. I just thought he was sick today and he would be happy to not have to worry about the yard. There is plenty of housework inside for me to do. I’m so stupid I can’t believe I actually thought I could get away with cutting grass.
Maybe plants are farming us; providing us Oxygen until we die and decompose so they can consume us
